Billie Eilish talks about her sexuality in a way she never has before. The 22-year-old GRAMMY winner is gearing up to release her third album. Hit me hard and softon May 17, and with it comes a racy new song, “Lunch,” about her crush on a girl.
“This song was actually part of what helped me become who I am, to be real,” Eilish says in a new one Rolling Stone Cover story. “I wrote part of it before I ever did anything with a girl, and I wrote the rest after.”
The singer, who hasn’t given her sexuality an official label, adds: “I’ve been in love with girls my whole life, but I just didn’t get it – until last year when I realized I wanted my face.” I had never in a million years planned to talk about my sexuality. It’s really frustrating for me that it came up.
The frustration came after an interview with diversity and the subsequent red carpet moment discussing her attraction to women.
By the time, Eilish posted a response on InstagramHe wrote: “Thank you diversity for my award and throwing myself onto a red carpet at 11 a.m. instead of talking about anything else that matters. I like boys and girls, please leave me alone, literally who cares?”
In her Rolling Stone In her profile, she reflects on the moment in 2023, saying, “I know everyone has been thinking this about me for years, but I’m just now figuring it out myself.”
One practice that has helped Eilish better understand her sexuality and her body is the act of masturbation.
“Self-pleasure is a huge, huge part of my life and a huge, huge help to me,” she explains. “People should jerk off, man. I can’t stress this enough as I have suffered from extreme body issues and dysmorphia my entire life.”
She says the process helped me “love and accept myself.”
Part of this journey also meant making close friends for the first time.
“I used to be so obsessed with this mysteriousness, and I think that’s 100 percent the reason why I didn’t make any friends, because I didn’t want anyone to know me, because I wanted everyone to think of me as so mysterious and cool person,” admits Eilish. “I liked the idea of people thinking like that.”
She says her 20th birthday party, attended by her co-workers, was a wake-up call.
“I was like, ‘Oh shit, I literally have no friends. I don’t have people who see me as an equal. I don’t have people who aren’t afraid of me.'” She reflects and says that she later became close friends with Zoë Kravitz and Hailey Bieber.
Eilish’s new album was a return to the girl she felt like in the hit 2019 album. Where do we go when we fall asleep?
“This whole process felt like I was returning to the girl I was. I mourned her,” Eilish shares. “I’ve been looking for her in everything and it’s almost like she’s drowned from the world and the media. I can’t remember when she left.”
Eilish says her transformation into a blonde bombshell is for Happier than ever left her sense of self unrecognizable.
“I dyed my hair blonde and immediately thought, ‘Oh, I have no idea who I am,'” she admits.
When it comes to her own attitude and mental health, Eilish tells the magazine that she has “never” considered herself a “happy person.”
“I was a cheerful person, but not a happy person,” she explains. “I experience joy and laughter and can find fun in things, but I am a depressed person. I have suffered from a lot of depression throughout my life.”
It’s been a big year for Eilish and her brother and collaborator Finneas. The two took home GRAMMYs and an Oscar for their hit “What Was I Made For?” Barbie Soundtrack.
ET spoke with the duo ahead of their win at this year’s Oscars.
“I am not Barbie. Margot [Robbie] is Barbie,” she told ET at the time. “Skipper is a G! I do a little librarian thing and I’m happy about it.”
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