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A thriving business requires a good balance of strategy, commitment and dedication. Having a great idea and putting in the effort is no longer enough. To stay relevant, we need to know how to keep up with the speed of the evolving business landscape. Otherwise, we risk falling behind or being left out altogether. This fear of falling behind often leads us to take on too much. We overwhelm ourselves and make it difficult to keep our commitments. Before we know it, we get lost in the hustle and bustle, struggling to keep up with our own goals. Ironically, our desire to succeed can sometimes be our biggest hurdle. Instead of facing our challenges, we end up taking a few steps back. Why do we sabotage our success?
Honestly, no matter how hard we try to get everything under control, there will always be things that fall through the cracks. This means that we cannot always deliver 100% results. In times like these, responsibility is the best weapon we have at our disposal. It is what keeps us current and ensures we are constantly evolving. However, it is also the one thing we often struggle with the most. Even when we have the desire to take responsibility, it just doesn’t seem to happen. What’s stopping us? Why is responsibility such a challenge for many of us? What is the real reason we struggle with this?
Related: Four Ways to Hold Yourself Accountable for Success
The perpetrator
Taking responsibility is difficult, but the real reason we struggle might be simpler than you think. This is not because we are lazy or bad at time management. Our lack of responsibility stems from our failure to understand our basic human nature. If you take a look at what we are attuned to, you will see that we naturally avoid difficult or unpleasant things. Our brains are designed to seek pleasure rather than pain. And taking responsibility is not pleasant, so our minds naturally create a barrier between us and the responsibility. This barrier is often referred to as our ego.
Our ego serves as a defense mechanism by creating a calming illusion of control and competence in our lives. It is our mind’s way of protecting us from the harsh reality of our inadequacies. Whether we are aware of it or not, it creates resistance that influences the way we approach our commitments. When we face challenges or are at risk of not meeting expectations, our ego intervenes to protect our self-esteem. That’s why we cling to excuses and justify our every disadvantage. This desire to protect our self-image causes us to repeat the same avoidance behavior until it becomes a habit. Relying on our ego to protect us at all times impacts the way we run our businesses.
In a study by Yin et al., published in the January 2022 issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science, it is shown that powerful people or those in key positions are likely to blame others rather than take responsibility. This is because as humans we prefer to point fingers rather than deal with our problems. We would rather be in denial than let other people know we have problems. Let’s face it: At some point in our lives, we play the blame game just to feel better. However, this cycle of ego-driven behavior only leads to self-sabotage in the long run. So if we are conditioned to avoid discomfort, how can we hold ourselves accountable?
Related: How this entrepreneur finally broke the cycle of self-sabotage
Break the barrier
The good news is that while our ego prevents us from taking responsibility, that doesn’t mean we’re doomed to fail. Once we recognize this barrier and understand its impact on our behavior, we can take steps to overcome it. Here are a few ways to start reducing your ego:
Understand what responsibility really means:
One of the biggest misconceptions about responsibility is that it equates to perfection. Many of us believe that to be responsible we must fulfill our obligations flawlessly and not make mistakes. Instead of improving, we end up becoming perfectionists and punishing ourselves at the sight of a mistake. This causes us to associate responsibility with punishment. In the long run, it suffocates us until we no longer have the sense to separate punishment from responsibility.
This belief couldn’t be further from the truth. We are not gods. In reality, we are bound to make mistakes, and that’s okay. We just need to understand that responsibility means that we are responsible for our mistakes. This means we can own up to our mistakes, learn from them, and commit to doing better next time. With this shift in our understanding, we don’t have to beat ourselves up every time we make a mistake. We can now think more clearly and use it as an opportunity to address issues without fear of our mistakes.
Learn to embrace discomfort:
Simply knowing what our ego can do is not enough to take responsibility. We must be able to accept discomfort and allow our ego to take a back seat. For this to happen, major changes are required. However, making changes is not easy. Not many can give up their beliefs and embrace the changes that come with responsibility. Without the will to change, it will be difficult to commit and take responsibility. This usually happens because we have conflicting desires within us – one that pushes us to be better and one that pushes us to comfort. This creates a conflict in our minds that makes it difficult to take consistent action. If we really want to move forward, we must resolve this inner conflict and accept that discomfort is part of our path to taking responsibility. But how do we do that? What makes responsibility unpleasant anyway?
Responsibility works like a mirror. It reflects everything, even the things we don’t want to see. It shows us not only the good sides, but also the mistakes and imperfections. Recognizing our mistakes shows the difference between what we claim we can do and what we can actually do. This realization can be uncomfortable because it often triggers a desire to avoid shame and guilt. However, we must understand that these emotions are not enemies, but indicators that we are investing in our success and personal growth.
It shouldn’t make us uncomfortable and we should learn to accept it. Acceptance does not guarantee an easy path, but it does give meaning to every difficult step toward growth. So next time you feel uncomfortable with the responsibility, try embracing it instead of pushing it away. It is a sign that you are making progress towards becoming a more responsible person.
Rely on the right people:
Let me tell you a simple fact: no one can be solely responsible. While engagement can be an individual effort, taking responsibility requires the support of the right people. Just as a tree needs strong roots to grow, we need a solid network of people willing to hold us accountable. These people cannot be just anyone, because our responsibility also depends on who holds us accountable.
When choosing the people we surround ourselves with, it is crucial to choose people who are not only confident but also have big visions for the future. Safe people provide a stable and supportive environment in which vulnerability is not only accepted but encouraged. This safe space is fundamental to fostering accountability because it allows us to openly share our challenges and setbacks without fear of judgment.
Related: How Finding the Right Accountability Partner Can Help You Achieve Your Goals
Additionally, being around visionaries who dream big and aim high inspires us to increase our own ambitions and go beyond our comfort zone. These people are living proof that great things are possible and drive us to pursue our goals with renewed vigor and dedication.
And most importantly, you need a person who is willing to tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear – a person who can hold you accountable for your actions and decisions, no matter how unpleasant may be too. Because without someone to keep us in check, we easily fall back into our old habits and continue to let our ego dictate our behavior.
True accountability is not a corporate initiative that can be led from the boardroom. It is a deeply personal commitment to do justice to every part of our lives. It is actually easier to simply shirk responsibility and continue to live in bed with our excuses. Ultimately, however, making a conscious effort to take responsibility is the same as choosing for yourself. It means staying true to your word and taking responsibility for your growth.
So don’t let your ego hold you back. Accept the challenge and achieve your ideal results through a sense of responsibility. After all, there is no greater reward than reclaiming your life and succeeding on your terms. So take the first step towards responsibility and watch your life change for the better.