David Burtka spoke openly about raising his twins with his husband Neil Patrick Harris – and teaching them how to stay grounded in a life in the spotlight.
“It was her whole life. They know the paparazzi and know that they have to be nice,” Burtka, 48, said exclusively Us weekly at the GLSEN Respect Awards at Gotham Hall in New York City. “My son went through a period where he gritted his teeth over photos and we said, ‘No, you have to be nice.’ But you know, it’s hard.”
Burtka recognized that it is difficult for his and Harris’ 13-year-old twins, son Gideon and daughter Harper, to know that they can be watched at any time.
“I think there’s another added pressure of feeling like you have to be there at all times, otherwise you never know if someone’s going to jump out of the bushes and maybe take a photo of you,” he said. “I think…Neil being a father to my kids is a little bit more pressure. I feel that way for them.”
While living in the public eye may have its downsides, Burtka also acknowledged the benefits that come with it. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great life and we love it,” he said. “But you know, everything has good and bad.”
In addition to balancing their lives in the spotlight, Gideon and Harper are trying to maintain a sense of normalcy as middle schoolers – which Burtka says is not an easy age.
“Do you remember 6th, 7th, 8th grade? It’s the hardest time and I can’t imagine what it’s like to grow up now as a 13-year-old with what’s happening overseas, global warming and everything in the world,” Burtka said. “Thank God they don’t have social media. We won’t let them on social media until they’re 16.”
Burtka said Us that “there are a lot of emotions” as his twins navigate “high-pressure schools in New York.”
Lasting love. Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka have defied all of Hollywood’s odds with their long-lasting marriage. The actors met when they were both on Broadway, with Harris in Cabaret and Burtka in Gypsy. Burtka was in another relationship at the time and often commuted to Los Angeles to see his then-boyfriend. “I didn’t want to be that […]
“No one told us that if you have twins you will have twice as many twins,” he said. “The feeding and changing and so on, but having two 13-year-olds at the same time is the most stressful time of their childhood. And Neil is in Belfast making a film, so I was a single parent.”
While raising their children, Burtka and Harris, 50, know they always have a friend they can rely on: Elton John. (The musician and husband David Furnish welcomed sons Zachary and Elijah in 2010 and 2013, respectively.)
“We will see her in Nice this summer,” revealed Burtka. “For the first few years it was strange sitting and having breakfast with Elton John in his villa in Nice, but now it’s just Uncle Elton.”
For Burtka, supporting the GLSEN Respect Awards was a given. “I mean, the GLSEN education is incredible for kids who are struggling with their identity,” he said Us.
Some of Hollywood’s strongest unions are also the industry’s most powerful: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, Elton John and David Furnish, and Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are redefining what it means to be out and proud in Tinsel Town
Proceeds from the event – which was honored Marcia Gay Harden Help support programs like The Rainbow Library, which makes banned LGBTQ+-affirming books available to students, with the Advocate Award.
“We all need support. I mean, we can’t do it alone,” Burtka said. “This is all about helpfulness and looking out for each other and that’s what we need to do today and we need to raise money to make sure these kids feel comfortable.”
With reporting by Andrew Nodell