Stephen Warnock on How Hard Retirement Made Him Reflect on His Own Life and How Things Were Changing

“I just felt lost. I thought: Where is life going now? Where will it take you?”

Content Warning: This article contains discussion of feelings of depression and suicide.

Former Liverpool, Aston Villa and England defender Stephen Warnock has spoken about how the struggle to end his professional career led him to reflect on his own life – until a chance meeting with a friend-turned-therapist was the deciding factor.

Warnock played more than 550 games for 10 clubs in 16 seasons, but he spoke with Sky Sports As part of the Real conversation In the series, he revealed how his spiral began when he started falling in love with the game and when he retired he felt his career had failed.

“I felt like I was getting frustrated with football,” he said. “I played in the Premier League and then you slowly start to decline. It’s going to be difficult, and this may sound a bit elitist or snooty, but I’ve just lost enthusiasm for it.”

“I felt like I wasn’t playing the way I wanted to, I wasn’t dieting like I should. I probably wasn’t as focused as I was because I couldn’t get back to the top. I felt down.”, it depressed me.

“Now I look back and think: Wow, I was massively depressed for years. I retired at 35. At 31, I probably retired mentally.”

The financial pressure caused by an “unwise” investment suggestion from his financial advisor likely prolonged the left-back’s professional career – but not for the reasons he would have liked.

Now 42, he believes the financial advice, coupled with the harsh reality of impending retirement, created a perfect storm that pushed him into his darkest moments.

“After that I didn’t sleep properly for six years [financial advice]. “I went back to training every morning with maybe three hours of sleep,” Warnock said.

“My head hits the pillow and I keep thinking about how I’m going to get out of this. Looking back, I think money isn’t everything. I wish I had just said, ‘I had a great run, I lost this.’ I love it, I’ll find something else that makes me happy.

“I looked back on my career and thought I was a failure. I thought I had a terrible career. I went to Liverpool, then Blackburn, Aston Villa, then Leeds and I just kept going down. I always did.” I remember thinking I was letting myself down there.

“After you retire, I think people come out [of football] and just think that life will be good. But it’s about what will give you that enthusiasm, what will give you that excitement in your life. If you find it quickly, everything is fine – but you have to find it.

“The only thing I compare it to is that football is like the army – it’s regimented. You wear this, show up at this time, eat this, report whenever you want, and are told where, when, and what to be. But.” When you come out and lose that structure, it’s so hard to replace it.

In the end, Warnock lost his marriage and, for a time, contact with his children as he searched for a way to feel happy again and found what would later provide that spark in an unlikely place – Liverpool Lime Street Station.

There he met an old friend who was training to be a consultant. His advice to find a way to be “content” seemed superficial at the time, but when understood months later, it proved to be an important moment in Warnock’s life.

“I didn’t know what he meant when he first said it,” Warnock said. “It must have been about eight or nine months ago when I called him and he said he had been waiting for this call for ages.

“He told me I looked a mess on TV and he meant it – and he said he would make me feel better within two weeks. I dug deep, there were a lot of tears, there was a lot of honesty.”

“I remember thinking after that call that I felt so different in one session. I messaged him afterwards and asked when we could have the next session. It was like a solution, I needed it. He gave me homework.” The more I did homework and thought about things, the better I felt.

“I once thought about taking my own life. I was so stuck I thought I was done until I called him. I tell him all the time that he saved my life.”

“Then I started paying more attention to my children, they noticed a difference in me and I started to feel like I could look back on my career and not be disappointed. That gave it a positive touch and made me realize what I meant. “I had achieved something in my career.

“I spoke to him once and he said he saw me on TV and my voice sounded different, my body looked different the way I sat, I looked confident the way I was. And I was so proud because I knew how much I had been through. It was one of the best moments of my life.

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can contact The Samaritans free on 116 123 in the UK.

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