Jimmy Allen had dark thoughts during a scandalous time in his life. In a recent conversation with Kathie Lee Gifford – on which the country singer released his YouTube channel on Tuesday – Allen, 38, remembers contemplating suicide as his former manager sued him for sexual assault.
In May 2023, Allen’s daytime manager, identified only as Jane Doe in her lawsuit, alleged that the singer raped her and subjected her to repeated sexual abuse and harassment over the course of 18 months.
At the time, a statement from his lawyer to ET said: Allen admitted claimed to have had a “sexual relationship” with the woman who sued him, but claimed it was consensual for nearly two years.
In his conversation with Gifford, Allen said he was “looking for instant gratification from women” during his affair before discussing details of the situation.
“She was my day-to-day manager, so she was with me everywhere. We met, then we stopped, and then when we stopped…she got all sad and upset. “To make her feel better, we would meet again,” he claimed.
Allen claimed that he “absolutely [did] I didn’t want a relationship with the woman, but admitted, “I should have seen that she was into me.” Although it was just physical for me, I think it became emotional for her.
When the lawsuit was filed, Allen said he was “angry” and “confused and heartbroken.”
“It’s someone who has become a friend,” he said. “…I knew it was wrong because I’m in a relationship. I’m willing to take responsibility for that… For the longest time in my head I remember thinking, ‘As long as it’s me.’ If I take care of my wife and children, I have the freedom to do whatever I want.” That’s not the right mentality. I should have made a commitment.
The lawsuit – which one Jane Doe has now fallen — came in the middle Allen’s breakup And eventual divorce Submission by Alexis Gale, the was pregnant with her then third child. Gale – who is also mother to Naomie (3) and Zara (2) – welcome son Cohen in October 2023. Allen is also the father of Aadyn, born in 2015 to a woman Allen has never publicly named, and twin babies with his longtime girlfriend Danielle. Amidst all the allegations, Allen thought most of his family.
“I sat there and literally felt like the whole world had just collapsed. Because the first thing that comes to mind in my brain is not career, but ‘How can I provide for my children?'” he said, before explaining why he then considered the idea of suicide.
“It hit me. My life insurance covers suicide,” he said. “I don’t feel that way now, but in that moment when you feel like you have nothing in the middle of a society where you are no longer innocent until proven guilty… [people think] She said that, so it must be true.
With that in mind, Allen “moved everything onto a phone – all my evidence, pictures, text messages, videos, everything…” [and then] I put bullets in my gun magazine.
However, a text from his friend came at just the right moment.
“My friend Chuck texted me… He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer.’ When I read those words, I just stopped,” Allen said. “I remember calling one of my friends… He came up. I gave him my gun. I said, ‘Take her. I don not need you.’ My mom flew in, and then I started getting calls from different artists reaching out to me saying that they love me, that they care about me, that they know who I am. Then I started getting calls from people I didn’t even expect. Some of the biggest actors in Hollywood that I’ve been fans of for years – who I’ve never met – somehow got my phone number and called me.”
For all the support Allen received during the drama, there were also “people I expected to hear from, but I didn’t.”
“That hurt a lot,” he said. “…I didn’t think it would hurt so much if people I thought were my friends just left, but thanks to you, other friends in the business, my family, I was able to pull through. It was hard.”
From there, Allen went to a mental health retreat and began therapy, but the suicidal thoughts continued.
“Every day I remember the struggle: Do I want to live? “Don’t I want to live?” he remembered. “When bills come due. I think, ‘Man, my family would have X amount of dollars if I had taken care of something,’ but I realized that’s not the way to go.”
When a friend came over with some money for Allen, he needed help canceled deals Amid the scandal, things began to change.
“After a few months… I started to look at the situation differently. It went like this: ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what am I supposed to learn?'” he said. “…I went from hating her to slightly feeling sorry for her and trying to understand what was going on in her life and that she had to do this. How could I not make myself available to talk about her feelings? ?”
Ultimately, the break was a good thing for Allen. In fact, he said, “It honestly saved my life.”
Before the scandal, Allen said he had “turned to drugs” and “life just felt like a circus just because I couldn’t be honest with myself about who I was and what I wanted,” both personally and also professionally. Now, however, Allen said he was “the happiest I’ve ever been.”
In the future he said: “[I want] to continue to be honest with myself and with everyone else.”
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741 -741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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