Ambika Mod is not ready to be a footnote in 2024. After improvisation and a breakthrough in the BBC miniseries This will hurtThis year she celebrated her biggest success to date – the lead role of Emma Morley in the Netflix adaptation of David Nicholls’ novel Once. Alongside Leo Woodall’s Dexter Mayhew, Mod sensitively plays Emma’s loves, victories and defeats over 20 years. As a twenty-something trying to find her place in the world, Mod’s own path has intersected with Emma’s more than once. Here she talks about growing up, getting older and wishing people would focus less on her race.
DEADLINE: How has life been since the release of Once?
AMBIKA MOD: Honestly, it’s really crazy. I had an inkling it was going to be a big hit because it was on Netflix, but I didn’t think people would think so highly of it. I don’t want to sound conceited, but the goal is for people to respond to your work, and I’m glad people think we did the book justice.
I have also learned to set boundaries recently. With a show like Once where people are so emotionally involved, as an actor sometimes people assume they have something from you. There are certain moments where people ask for photos and I say no. Nobody really teaches you that and it’s personal to everyone, but yeah, I’ve figured out the public side of it.
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DEADLINE: What impact does it have on you to appear as a person of color in a story that has previously portrayed white characters?
MOD: The color of my skin was a big part of the discourse when I was doing press for this show. [Prejudice] can be such a subtle yet insidious double-edged sword that most people wouldn’t even notice it.
When people talked about my white co-star [Leo Woodall]’s performance, they often talked about his acting and the quality of his work, while for me – not always – it was about how great it was that I’m brown and what a groundbreaking casting decision that was. I thought, ‘What about My Performance and My work?’
I would say that my British heritage actually influenced my experience of playing Emma Morley more than my Indian heritage, although I wouldn’t completely remove that from the equation. I feel very privileged and I’m passionate about talking about representation, but on the other end of the spectrum, I’m here to do a job just like my white counterparts and I want my work to be valued and evaluated in exactly the same way.
It’s been challenging because people are just not ready to see people on screen who aren’t beautiful white women. I’ve also seen that it’s not just me, they tear down anyone who doesn’t fit the norm that this industry has forced on us for so long. It’s a bigger internal problem, but it’s not my problem to solve on my own.
Ambika Mod with Leo Woodall in Once.
Teddy Cavendish/Netflix
DEADLINE: Do you feel like there is an unspoken pressure to speak for all dark-skinned people in some way?
MOD: Absolutely. I think that is unfortunately the reality for many people of color. Anyone who feels like their identity is marginalized is not destined to be a spokesperson for a much larger group of people. I never thought I would be like every South Asian girl who comes up to me on the street and says, “I love Emma, look Once is the first time I’ve seen a South Asian girl in that way.” I’m so glad they got to have that experience watching the show, but I also recognize that they have their own personalities.
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DEADLINE: So why You Do you love Emma personally?
MOD: Anyone who knows the book knows that Once is Emma’s book. The cliche of the heroine in the romantic comedy genre is either the Manic Pixie Dream Girl or the woman who changes or gets a makeover for the man. Emma knows her best qualities are her intelligence and wit, and she uses those. She’s never played dumb. She’s never played herself small. In the beginning, she lacks confidence, she feels like an outsider, and she is the underdog in many ways. I think that’s why the fact that Emma is played by a woman of color ultimately adds complexity to her role. But I love her so much because she grows into her own person, and not in relation to Dexter. Their relationship is really important to their lives in the grand scheme of things, but on a day-to-day basis, this is a coming of age story. This is so cheesy, and I hate to say this, but Emma is very much the heroine of her own life.
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DEADLINE: Dex and Emma embody the popular concept of “the right person at the wrong time.” Do you think if it was the right person, there would be no wrong time?
MOD: No, I think timing is everything in relationships.
The likelihood of two people falling in love at exactly the right time and being ready for that love at such a time seems almost impossible. I’ve always believed in “the right person for now” – if there is such a thing – rather than this idea of eternal love. In the long run, Emma and Ian weren’t right for each other, but in the moment they met, they were.
There is a lot of criticism of Emma and how she waited for Dexter and decided to take him back. These are two very special characters with special lives and the show makes no pretense of commenting on what love should look like. This is simply David Nicholls’ story.
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DEADLINE: Emma worked in a variety of jobs before discovering her calling as a writer. Did that remind you of your own time at John Lewis and Condé Nast before your big break?
MOD: I drew on a lot of personal experience, especially from Emma’s early years. There’s the whole thing of wanting to be a certain kind of artist but feeling like a small fish in a huge pond – she has no money, she has no connections, she’s not white, she’s probably not seen as conventionally attractive. That’s definitely something I can relate to, especially because she probably has to bust her ass to get a fraction of what someone like Dexter gets for free.
In my early twenties I would get up at 6am, work full time, go to a gig, be home by 11.30am and start it all over again the next day. I would write on the weekends and go to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival every summer. I honestly don’t know where I got that energy from because I could never do that now. I guess I was just really ambitious.
There is a real freedom and shame in life to be young and want something so badly. When I look back, I am amazed by the sheer determination behind it. My career is the most important thing in the world to me and I thought, ‘If I stop, I stop. [for good]’,’ so I just kept going.
Mod with Ben Whishaw in This will hurt.
AMC/Sister Pictures/BBC Studios/Everett Collection
DEADLINE: How do you think your comedy and improv background has influenced your acting?
MOD: Even if I end up making the most serious film ever, my comedy training will somehow influence it. I never want to stop doing live comedy, especially improv, because it teaches you that you can fail. I remember shortly after This will hurt came out, I was on cloud nine. Then I did an improv performance and we died on our asses. And I thought, “Oh, we can still fail!”
Comedy also gave me good instincts. Once We shot 10 pages of script in one day, which is unheard of. After a 16-hour day, there was barely any time to go home and analyze 10 more pages, so I just had to trust my instincts and my connection with my co-star.
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DEADLINE: Which scenes were the most difficult to shoot? Once?
MOD: There were so many scenes I read and thought, “I’m just a comedian, who do I think I am to do these over-the-top, dramatic scenes?” From my perspective, the argument in the street in episode 7 and the breakup with Ian in episode 8 were the hardest because they were so emotionally pivotal for Emma. These were the last episodes before we see her transform into a grown, realized woman, so it was really important to get everything right. The maze scene in episode 10 was nearly 30 pages long and we shot it in a freezing, dank warehouse in west London. You can’t see it, but I was wearing UGG boots and leggings under my dress. We shot the whole thing in two days, so we had to master our craft. A lot of the show was like theater in some ways, honestly.
DEADLINE: How do you want your career to continue?
MOD: My next project is Match date with Jim Sturgess, who played Dex in Once film. He was actually quite excited about the show and wrote to me saying he enjoyed watching it.
I would love to do something chaotic, absurd and crazy to show a side of me that people are not used to. At this point in my life, I want to have the same feeling with my next project as I did with Oncewhere I play a rich, interesting character who stands on his own. That sets the bar very high and I’m very lucky to have been able to do that so early in my career. I’m not in a hurry, but I’m ready to find what excites me again.